Taboo subject: ketch·up

July 7, 2011 § Leave a comment

I realized, out of the blue today, that I haven’t had ketchup in a while.

Actually, quite a long while.


This is momentous as I remember that when we did dorm clearance, five minutes before the whole building was to shut down, I threw out everything in our fridge….. except for my bottle of ketchup.

That was towards the end of a phase in recent history when food… meant almost nothing to me for a while – a few weeks, maybe even a few months with spare moments of exceptions. Is this what art school has done to me? Plus living alone in Manhattan with a student budget? My allowance wasn’t a very large one, it wasn’t an entirely meager one either.

I guess It just so happened that under the influence of… stick-skinny-i-dress-only-in-black folks and chain-smoking-word-slurring-i’m-just-cool-like-that ladettes, the choice is easy – I’d rather shell out a healthy chunk of my wallet for a pair of shoes than a 3-star dinner. (‘Food just…. goes!  Shoes stay.’)

Eating becomes a necessity, rather than something, more than necessary – 2 minute microwaved affair laced with ketchup (a must in homemade fast food, makes cow shit taste like gourmet burgers) between sewing that last stitch and running 4 avenues to print out a presentation board.

During the past school-year, I always use ketchup. I barely ever use it before coming to America. Now I think it’s genius. It’s like aspirin. I put it on everything — unless it is something really good, ‘mmmmmmmm’-worthy.

I promise you, I would throw myself off a cliff and hug on as tightly as I could to the cross in ‘Piss Christ’ twice before letting a molecule of that red semi-liquid touch my plate at Pierre. That means, most times when I am not sitting down for a ‘proper meal’, as in most school times, I run to the nearest Macdos or ask the Chinese deli-man to give me five packs of those things.

It tells me ‘You are not exactly having the best meal of your life, so? Suck it up, deal with it.

Oh come on. Move over. I’LL HELP.’

And that, is all I have to say about ketchup.


One more thing, I apologize, Mr. Gagnaire, if it offends you that I mentioned your name and ketchup in the same sentence.


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